Real Fake News

This just in from TOS’s Fake News department: As Americans were preparing to ring in the new year on Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control dashed widespread hopes for a return to some semblance of normalcy in 2021, recommending that Americans refrain from making New Year’s resolutions.

Nintendo announced on Tuesday that it is rereleasing classic titles with radically new game designs following a collaboration with Yale professor Daniel Markovits, author of the New York Times best-selling book The Meritocracy Trap.

As Americans stock up on french-fried onions and cranberry sauce, Senator Bernie Sanders and Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announce the latest addition to the Green New Deal.